A Thoughtful Life

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without our thinking.” - Albert Einstein

“Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.” - Confucius

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is--his good, pleasing, perfect will.”  - Paul in his letter to the Romans (Romans 12:2)

Thinking deeply is becoming harder to do as each year passes. Life speeds up all around us, keeping with the pace of changing technology and the continual reach for progress. But where does this leave the human mind? The mind craves silence, rest, and a place to ponder the wonders of the universe.

There are those of us who don’t have the time to think beyond keeping kids alive and the next thing on our “to-do” lists. Others purposely banish every inkling of what we label “negativity” from our minds, disallowing memories of the past to surface by shutting thoughts down with entertainment. And then there are those of us who swing to the opposite side of the pendulum, trapped in an internal world of darkness and hopelessness.

Where is a happy medium of thought life? How does one achieve even a semblance of balance when our very brain chemistry works against us? Some of us have to fight with our thoughts day in and day out. We have days where the thoughts win as if they wield freshly sharpened knives. Even so, there are those glorious days where thoughts fly free to think of light and colors and sounds. Oh, how we wish those days would last forever.

Often, our behaviors begin with thoughts. We think of something and we do it. Decisions about how to treat our fellow neighbor are usually made by how we think of them. We make assumptions, judgments, and form biases. Or we stop to think about how we might feel if someone treated us the way our thoughts have led us to behave. We take the time to ask questions, to learn about a person who is different from us. Our thoughts are changed.

Having a variety of thoughts, turning things over in our minds and then sharing them with each other is a gift that we often forget to appreciate. Yet it is in the sharing that we get to know others and grow. There is something so significant about letting another person know our thoughts and listening to theirs in turn. A connection is born and the possibilities for relationship abound. Taking the time to think is an exercise in remembering our humanity. Without that, life would be an empty rush of movement. 

J. F. Ethan Rose is a thinker. As you will see in the interview below, he has his struggles with some of the ways his thoughts turn. But he is also a fighter, and he continues to seek ways to steer his thinking in a more solid direction. He hasn’t given up on thinking, even though at times it can be painful. And that is something we can all learn from.
 

 

J. F. Ethan Rose at the Valley Forge Train Station

 

Is there one thing that you wish people knew about you?

I wish people knew how much I care about them. I have a difficult time letting people know I care because I’m emotionally drained most of the time. OCD consumes a lot of mental and emotional energy, so it isn’t always easy to emote or think about another person’s perspective. If I’m sitting around, staring off into space, it’s usually because I’m checked out. Or if I go off to be by myself, it’s not because I don’t like people, but that I’m mostly an introvert and need alone time to recharge. But I do care about others, and I do want to spend time with them. Sometimes I’m not always good at showing it.

What does life mean to you?

 Life is communion: communion with God and others. We really can’t be on our own, doing our own thing. Even the self-proclaimed, self-reliant person is dependent on something other than himself. He depends on oxygen to breath, microorganisms in his body to keep him healthy, and ultimately God to continue to will his existence. There is no independence, only interdependence. We all need God and each other to live and flourish, and so we all need to live in communion with one another and our Creator. Our culture wants to make everything about the individual, to try to set us free from the other, but this is simply a delusion. To be cut off from the other is not freedom, but death. I think if we started to realize just how much our decisions affect others and the world around us, the more serious and weighty the need for community would become.

Who is/has been your favorite person in life? (Who has been the greatest influence on/in your life?)

There have been a lot of important and influential people in my life, but I think the one that stands out the most in my mind is my mother. Through our conversations, I have learned so much from her about God, people, and the world. Out of all the things she’s given me, her knowledge and wisdom have been the greatest gifts for me. She has also encouraged me in my own pursuit of knowledge and wisdom, and I have been taught to value learning and thinking well. Without her support, I don’t know where I’d be today.

What do you look forward to?

This may sound cliche, but I’m looking forward to Christ reigning on Earth, to the eschaton, to the fulfillment of God’s kingdom. Though I’m still pretty young, I have become world weary. I don’t want what the world offers. There are aspects of God’s kingdom shining through the bleakness that is this age, and I desire those small cracks of light, but I want them in their fullness, and I want everyone to experience it. I look forward to God’s will being done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

What makes you most angry?

Lots of things. Haha. Injustice in the world, the Church’s complacency, my own sins and shortcomings, being misunderstood. These are just a few of my least favorite things.

What is your favorite memory?

I have a lot of fond memories of family vacations. A friend of my Dad used to own a camp up in Potter County, PA. That’s Northwestern PA. We’d go up there as a family for a few days. I really loved going on hikes up there. There is something about that area that makes me happy.

Do you have an interesting piece of family history you'd like to share?

My great-grandfather, John Farquharson, who I’m named after, came over to the U.S. on a boat from Scotland when he was 15 years old. Without any family. I can’t imagine making that trip at that age.

Who is your favorite author and why?

Way too many to choose from. I can’t say I have a favorite author, but I have a few that I really like. Those would be James K.A. Smith, Wendell Berry, and Marylinne Robinson. They all write about different things, yet they are all linked together in my mind. I like them because they see the world differently, they don’t just see it as it is, but what it could be. They have a Kingdom perspective that I think is magnificent.

What skill or hobby are you currently trying to learn?

I’m currently learning how to manage my mental health, my anxiety, depression, and OCD. There’s a lot of CBT stuff that my therapist is teaching me that I find really helpful. It’s not a magic bullet, but it certainly helps. I guess that’s a skill. I’m also trying to learn social skills. Haven’t had a lot of help with that in the past, but my therapist is helping me there too.

Is there anything else you’d like to say? Anything at all. Doesn’t matter how random or short.

The world is a really hard place to live, it’d be good if we were kinder to one another and to ourselves.

J. F. Ethan Rose has started his own space online to help gather together people who are interested in cultivating rich thinking lives. You can find it and comment here: https://folktheologian.wordpress.com/?fbclid=IwAR2ZNGvKcl2t7ZAkKpONGt0UeTxj-tO-LEPpoOLUIYWCJ5r_7C6QMii9MsY

A Lesson In Courage

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” -Nelson Mandela

 We often think that to be brave, we need to do big things in life without fear. To live fearlessly is seen as an American virtue. Pursue your dreams. Make things happen. Don’t let anything stand in your way. But if we’re honest, courage is hard. And it is often needed for parts of our lives that aren’t glamorous or the types of things that people want to read about in a biography. There are those of us who need courage to get out of bed in the morning.  Others need courage to have the hard conversations we’ve been avoiding. Or maybe we need the courage to stop and look at our lives, to deal with the aspects that we really don’t like, that cause us pain, that we would never have wished for ourselves. And then we need the courage to accept those things, to grieve them, and find a way to thrive, even if they won’t ever change.

 Kara Doriani O’Shee is the kind of brave that keeps going even though life has handed her some pretty frightening things. Kara was 21 when she was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease.  Crohn’s is an autoimmune disease that causes the chronic inflammation of the digestive tract. Not only does it affect the whole process of digestion, but it can also cause inflammation of a person’s skin, eyes, and joints. Even if she's not experiencing a specific flare-up, Kara suffers from becoming easily injured and the slow healing of those injuries. It can be immensely painful and debilitating, requiring her to live her life around expensive medical treatments, adverse side-effects from those treatments, insurance battles, and the rollercoaster of uncertain physical ability from one day to the next.

 And then there’s the mental aspect. It is never easy to live with a chronic illness. Struggling with one’s body can cause depression and anxiety that would cripple anyone. People who aren't constantly sick have a hard time understanding what it’s like for your body to turn against you, especially at a young age. If you don’t have a limb missing, or some other visible sign that something is going wrong inside, it is even more difficult for the suffering individual to receive the courtesy and care they need from those around them. Often they aren’t believed or are treated as if they are making more out of their illness than is actually happening. It is a daily battle, often waged in isolation.

 Yet through all of these immensely difficult trials, Kara has fought for a deep enjoyment of life. She is fiercely loyal in relationships, putting others before herself. She is thoughtful and caring. She loves dancing and literature, writing, learning, God and His Church, and so much more. There is a fire in her that is almost tangible when you are around her, and it is contagious.

Although Kara grew up in various places throughout the United States, she now lives in Chile with her husband of almost a year. She works as a translator from Spanish to English, as well as a writer for a Web Marketing Company here in the States, and she is constantly pushing herself to master both languages. Because of the distance, our interview did not take place in person, but her ability to communicate through writing is actually an asset in a situation like this.

Is there one thing that you wish people knew about you?

I wish to not be underestimated.

What does life mean to you? Life is about the Kingdom of God. We can jump in and participate in the building or not, but God will accomplish this in either case. Loving your neighbor, working with dedication in your current calling in life, and taking care of ‘the least of these’ are ways we can participate with God. He freed us from sin to live so that we can do good works!

Who is/has been your favorite person(s) in life? (Or who has been the greatest influence on/in your life?)

The strongest influences have been my parents, who not only raised me but also discipled me. I count them amongst my closest friends. My father is a therapist and my mother is a leader in academia. I have watched them surmount many difficult challenges with faith and grace. Their way of seeing others and seeing the world has been important in my personal development.

What do you look forward to? Living in the United States again and working in my field (international development in education).

What makes you most angry? Injustice, whether personal or institutional.

What is your favorite memory? My wedding. I say that because it was a beautiful time outside in which I was able to be with special people from many different times of my life. My husband’s family came all the way from Chile, which was also very meaningful.

Is there anything else you’d like to say? (Anything at all; it doesn’t matter how random or short!)

I’m on a learning journey!