A Lesson In Courage

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” -Nelson Mandela

 We often think that to be brave, we need to do big things in life without fear. To live fearlessly is seen as an American virtue. Pursue your dreams. Make things happen. Don’t let anything stand in your way. But if we’re honest, courage is hard. And it is often needed for parts of our lives that aren’t glamorous or the types of things that people want to read about in a biography. There are those of us who need courage to get out of bed in the morning.  Others need courage to have the hard conversations we’ve been avoiding. Or maybe we need the courage to stop and look at our lives, to deal with the aspects that we really don’t like, that cause us pain, that we would never have wished for ourselves. And then we need the courage to accept those things, to grieve them, and find a way to thrive, even if they won’t ever change.

 Kara Doriani O’Shee is the kind of brave that keeps going even though life has handed her some pretty frightening things. Kara was 21 when she was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease.  Crohn’s is an autoimmune disease that causes the chronic inflammation of the digestive tract. Not only does it affect the whole process of digestion, but it can also cause inflammation of a person’s skin, eyes, and joints. Even if she's not experiencing a specific flare-up, Kara suffers from becoming easily injured and the slow healing of those injuries. It can be immensely painful and debilitating, requiring her to live her life around expensive medical treatments, adverse side-effects from those treatments, insurance battles, and the rollercoaster of uncertain physical ability from one day to the next.

 And then there’s the mental aspect. It is never easy to live with a chronic illness. Struggling with one’s body can cause depression and anxiety that would cripple anyone. People who aren't constantly sick have a hard time understanding what it’s like for your body to turn against you, especially at a young age. If you don’t have a limb missing, or some other visible sign that something is going wrong inside, it is even more difficult for the suffering individual to receive the courtesy and care they need from those around them. Often they aren’t believed or are treated as if they are making more out of their illness than is actually happening. It is a daily battle, often waged in isolation.

 Yet through all of these immensely difficult trials, Kara has fought for a deep enjoyment of life. She is fiercely loyal in relationships, putting others before herself. She is thoughtful and caring. She loves dancing and literature, writing, learning, God and His Church, and so much more. There is a fire in her that is almost tangible when you are around her, and it is contagious.

Although Kara grew up in various places throughout the United States, she now lives in Chile with her husband of almost a year. She works as a translator from Spanish to English, as well as a writer for a Web Marketing Company here in the States, and she is constantly pushing herself to master both languages. Because of the distance, our interview did not take place in person, but her ability to communicate through writing is actually an asset in a situation like this.

Is there one thing that you wish people knew about you?

I wish to not be underestimated.

What does life mean to you? Life is about the Kingdom of God. We can jump in and participate in the building or not, but God will accomplish this in either case. Loving your neighbor, working with dedication in your current calling in life, and taking care of ‘the least of these’ are ways we can participate with God. He freed us from sin to live so that we can do good works!

Who is/has been your favorite person(s) in life? (Or who has been the greatest influence on/in your life?)

The strongest influences have been my parents, who not only raised me but also discipled me. I count them amongst my closest friends. My father is a therapist and my mother is a leader in academia. I have watched them surmount many difficult challenges with faith and grace. Their way of seeing others and seeing the world has been important in my personal development.

What do you look forward to? Living in the United States again and working in my field (international development in education).

What makes you most angry? Injustice, whether personal or institutional.

What is your favorite memory? My wedding. I say that because it was a beautiful time outside in which I was able to be with special people from many different times of my life. My husband’s family came all the way from Chile, which was also very meaningful.

Is there anything else you’d like to say? (Anything at all; it doesn’t matter how random or short!)

I’m on a learning journey!